Why Does My Vagina Feel Like it Swallowed a Bag of Hot Knives?: And other stuff our moms never told us about menopause…

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(as of May 31, 2026 21:08:23 UTC – Details)


USA Today Bestselling Women’s Fiction author Christine Gael takes the bull by the horns in this candid, funny self-help/memoir about menopause…

For so long, society has normalized sweeping feminine trauma under the rug. And previous generations were aces at the job. Women kept their secrets, hid their tears, and, if the movies tell it true, also somehow managed to dress themselves and put a rack-of-lamb dinner on the table just before their husbands got home. Carefully working behind the scenes, curating a life that would make their husbands’/fathers’/brothers’ experiences on this earth easier.

Neater. More palatable.

Childbirth was suffered alone. Periods weren’t discussed. Menopause was a postscript… a passing mention of the errant hot flash when there was no way to disguise it. Being strong meant taking it on the chin.

Over and over again.

So when perimenopause showed up and delivered the sucker punch to end all sucker punches, I never saw it coming. One day I was a juicy sapling, full of moisture and energy and patience. The next, I was an ancient oak, with crusty bark and gnarled branches, wondering, “WTF just happened?”

If you’re experiencing something similar, let me start with a couple of reassurances:

No, you’re not losing your mind.

And yes, it really is this freaking insane.

Because no one told us any of this was coming, and now we’re left holding a bag we don’t know what to do with.

That’s why I wrote this book. It’s not a medical manual. It’s more like a survival guide, where we put it all on the table. The good, the bad, and the pudgy.

We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We might laugh and cry at the same time. And who knows? Maybe someone will get shanked with a spork on account of them chewing too loud. But you won’t be alone, and sometimes that’s enough…

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0G3G9ZFMJ
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published
Publication date ‏ : ‎ February 14, 2026
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 186 pages
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8275493368
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.42 x 8.5 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #532,831 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #82 in Menopause (Books) #348 in Midlife Self-Help #830 in Self-Help & Psychology Humor
Customer Reviews: 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars (4) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });


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